I went to my first Acquire the Fire at age 13. I absolutely loved this ATF. It was amazing! I enjoyed all the guest speakers, loud music, and God-enriched messages that ATF had to offer. I went back the next year, and had an equally amazing experience. My older sister was 17 and in her junior year, when she began to show some interest in the Honor Academy. So it was the next year, the year she was going to graduate high school, that my family went to the Campus Preview Weekend. I was only a freshman in High School, and to take part in CPW they typically look for juniors or seniors. But since both my parents wanted to go take part in the preview weekend, I had to be registered as a student, which meant I would stay on campus the whole weekend, get assigned a core, and experience the daily life of an intern at the Honor Academy.
On one of the days we were there, we got a behind the scenes tour of all the different Call centers.. Basically what I got out of that, was that you had to pay a bunch of money, to almost all day everyday work in a call center. Don't get me wrong, it was clear the interns there were involved in many other things. Classes, worship session, LTE's, and many, many other activities, that deepened your relationship with God on an extreme level. But it seemed like the major part of your day consisted of calling people in a call center, promoting them into all the TM events. It raised a question in me, my sister, and my parents especially.... Why did the Honor Academy cost so much, if you're working so much?
Overall, the CPW went well, and I liked the HA. But I felt like the internship cost way too much money, especially since you were working most of the time. My sister had a worse experience than I did at CPW. Because of that, and some concerns my parents had about things within the ministry, my sister ended up not going to the Honor Academy.
We still attended Acquire the Fires, even though she decided not to go. I decided I really wanted to go on a mission trip. The only mission organization I knew of was Global Expeditions. When I brought the idea of going on a mission trip with them to my dad, he said no (because of the concerns he had with TM). I really wanted to go on a mission trip, and the only mission organization I knew of was GE. He made me look up some other organizations, and if I couldn't find anything that was better, he would let me go with GE. With no luck, I applied for a trip with GE, and began fundraising. Fundraising went fine, but I felt like they kept adding on fees. They told me if I booked with skypass, that the 50 dollar shuttle fee would be waved. So I booked with skypass for that purpose, and then 4 days before my trip, my rep told me that the shuttle fee was no longer waved, and I had to pay it!! They also ask that you don't write your name anywhere on the checks that you send in. The only reason they have you do this it because if you were to cancel your trip for any reason, then there is no way to get your money back, because the checks are made out to Teen Mania, and your name isn't on it. I think that's a little wrong. Anyway, I left for the trip, with an open heart expecting incredible things to happen.
The main thing that really upset me on my trip was my team leaders. Both of them worked for TM, and had been on many trips. During training, they were very critical. When my ministry group performed our VBS, she never told us what we did right, she just gave us a list of things that were really bad. We ended up training up until 12 am. Even when she was telling us that it was bad, she never told us what specifically we needed to work on. I remember I went to sleep feeling very defeated. Basically the whole trip it seemed they were so concentrated on rules, and regulations, and never really tried to get to know many of us. I thought the team leaders were there to guide us, and help us deepen our relationship with God throughout the trip. I felt like I didn’t really know what I was doing a lot of the time during the trip. Many other girls on the trip had the same problem. We just didn’t feel guided. I felt like the Team Leaders never really talked to us, unless it had to do with re-enforcing rules. It was also very evident that the people on our trip with the most outgoing, bold, and bubbly personalities were favored. (This is a re-occuring thing that I have read about it other people's stories.) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a quiet person, but I wouldn’t say I’m as bold as others. They were extremely strict and intimidating, and I can honestly say, I never got to get to know them.
One time we were on our way back from doing ministry, walking together. I made a really good friend with one of the girls on the trip. We became really close, really fast, and since both of us had a very funny sense of humor, we were constantly joking around with each other. (We would make comments to each other like “Oh you’re such a loser hahaha and stuff like that) She made a comment to me, and I made one back. We both had smiles on our face, and were laughing the whole time. It was obvious we weren’t really being mean to each other, and that we were kidding around. All of a sudden, the male Team Leader turned around and raised his voice at me correcting me about how “not everyone knows we were joking around” and “You never know if what you say actually hurts someone.” I thought he was finished correcting me so I said, “Ok I’m sorry I understand” and his exact words were “No, I’m not finished, don’t interrupt me” and kept going. He didn’t say anything to the other girl! I felt like everyone was staring at me, and I was so embarrassed. I totally understood his point, yes, we were on a mission trip, and we need to be careful about how we joke around. But the fact that he corrected me in that way in front of everyone really upset me; I wish he would have confronted me about it on the side. They made it a point to give all the MA’s on the trip a lesson about how it is more effective to correct people privately. (hello hypocrisy) I tried to fight back tears, and continued our walk until we got back to the camp. As soon as I was alone, I completely lost it. I was so frustrated with the team leaders, and the way they did things. (I was not the only one having problems with the TL’s) When I walked out of the bathroom, my eyes were red, and it was evident I had been crying. I walked past the female Team Leader and she looked at me, and didn’t say a word.
I later confronted the male Team Leader about the situation. I told him I just wanted to talk about it, and let him know how I felt. He didn’t even let me finish when he said, “Well it did seem like you were talking back to me, so thank you for your apology.” And then cut me off completely and basically got up.
Another issue I had had to do with a basic teaching. I teamed up with a girl and we were in charge of the section of the VBS where you talk about giving your heart to jesus. The way the skit made it sound was like “If you don’t get saved, you’re going to hell, so you have to get saved, because you don’t want to go to hell.” Which is the truth, but we wanted the people we were ministering to to get saved because of the love of Christ, not because they didn’t want to go to hell. The girl I was working with and I really had a problem with the way she made it sound. We asked if we could change it, and they said no! It sounded so manipulative (which is a common practice at Teen Mania) We both felt very convicted performing it, and were very bothered by it.
We had a relationship session while we were there in country. I can honestly say, it scared me tremendously. They basically gave us a list of all these characteristics that NEEDED to be in the person we were interested in. Basically what I got out of it, you shouldn’t date, unless it’s going to be long term, serious, and above all, highly “Christ-like” I had a guy I was talking to around the time I left for the trip. He was a Christian, but his faith wasn’t a strong as mine. However he was really respectful, fun, and all around a really nice guy! After that relationship session, I came back home and completely shut the guy down, because he didn’t meet the criteria for the “perfect Godly man” that Teen Mania thought I should be with. I regret it so much, and I can honestly say that the relationship session confused me about relationships, more than helped me. It basically scared me out of wanting to be in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, all and all, the trip was really good. I got to experience some amazing acts of God, grow closer to him, make some incredible friendships, and touch the lives of people in a third world country. However, I went home feeling really exhausted, and really, a little confused. I didn’t understand why they wanted everything so perfect. (That’s what it seemed like to me.) I didn’t really want to say bye to the team leaders.
I know my story is a little different, because I haven’t been involved with Teen Mania for a long period of time. However, there were several things that I saw firsthand, that were alarming and that I didn’t like. There are many positive things about Teen Mania, but hearing other people’s story, and experiencing things on my own, sometimes it seems like the negative things outweigh the positive.
